Figuring Out Home
by Lacorra
Summary: Season 3 finale missing scenes. Figuring out emotions before and after figuring out what home really is.


SPOILERS! This does contain spoilers! Last night's Once had pretty much addressed everything I had been wondering about for months. However I still wanted to go a little deeper. Play with emotions of Emma. It's such an interesting concept her family situation. I would have loved to see it honestly go a little deeper than it did, but I also get it's on a time frame and has a lot to get in. In the second part of this story I almost started calling Mary Margaret Snow because Emma really accepted that Snow White was her mother. However since the show still refers to Snow as Mary Margaret when they are in Story Brooke so I went with it... I just kind of wanted to show the change of what she realized. I just did this for one it's a one shot. I own nothing.

Before Emma time travels

_"We're running out to the car Emma" Mary Margaret says as she passes her daughter who is nursing a cup of coffee at the counter. "Please listen for your brother, but we'll only be outside for a few minutes. We're trying to install the base of his car seat in my car rather than the truck. It's safer."_

_Emma peered over her coffee cup at her mother raising her eyebrow "That thing is safer then David's truck? Did you ever get all the spray paint off from you know when people thought you were the other woman?"_

_Mary Margaret rolled her eyes at her daughter "Really Emma?"_

_She shrugged "It happened, you can't blame me for something that happened. It's not like I am the one that spray painted your car."_

_"Emma, get something eat and have another cup of coffee, before I get back inside please" She warned narrowing her eyes "That should help with some of your crankiness. We don't have time for you to take a proper nap before the potluck at Granny's."_

_"I wouldn't take a nap anyways. I am not a toddler" _

_Mary Margaret shot her own disbelieving look "You could have fooled me. You've been cranky since you got up this morning. Slamming things, dropping things, muttering under your breath. You even snapped at Henry."_

_"He was breathing in my ear!" She defended "Spit particles got me that is gross." Emma shot before taking another sip of her coffee "I am glad Regina came and got him. He was getting antsy."_

_"I'll just be a few minutes" Mary Margaret said again holding up her hands "Just please listen for your brother. I am sure he'll be fine he's been fed and changed."_

_"Got it" Emma nodded_

_"And Emma"_

_"Yes Mare?" Emma groaned _

_"Please eat something. There is plenty of casseroles in the fridge. Oatmeal on the stove though it's probably cold now your father made it when the baby first got up. Doughnuts on top of the fridge I saved you a bear claw."_

_"Go" Emma pointed as she hopped off the stool though going for the box of doughnuts "He's fine. I am fine. You're only going to be gone like five minutes."_

_Mary Margaret gave her a concerned look before nodding "We'll be right down stairs if you need anything."_

_Emma bit her tongue to keep herself from snapping at Mary Margaret she had fake memories of raising Henry. That was enough to give her the skill to take care of this baby for five whole minutes. Even if she was tired from hearing him cry on and off all night. If it had been up to her she'd still be staying in her room at Granny's. Expect with the curse broken and her mother just having given birth and being weepy wanting to have her whole family under one roof meant the world to her and no one could say no to a weepy Mary Margaret especially when David gave her if you make my wife fully cry right now you'll be sorry a look she didn't want to test. That look hit her harder than any other. It was a what could have been look. She knew growing up with her father she would have followed him around like a puppy hanging on to every word going on every adventure with him Protesting anything princess like her mother tried to get her to do and he'd be easy going and easy to deal with until the foot needed to come down and that one look would have gotten her into stupid frilly ball gowns faster than anything or an apology to her mother for being overly sassy. _

_Emma sighed this would all be easier in a few days when she was back in New York. The discomforting emotions that were running through her would be gone. She'd back safe and sound in her condo with her kid. No babies crying through the night, no wicked witches threatening to attack at any given moment, no saving of any kind. Being a savior would just be a dream. Savior oh how she was getting tired of that word. That statement._

_"But Emma, you're the savior" She mimicked in a high pitchy voice not seeing the baby monitor was next to her or seeing that her mother had the other half attached to her hip that she'd forgotten to leave in the apartment._

_Emma rolled her eyes as she took a bite of the bear claw she snagged before setting it on the counter wiping her hands on her jeans making her way to the basinet where her baby brother lay. She peered down at him to see his big blue eyes looking up at her. _

_"Hey" She greeted him reaching her hand down so he'd grab her finger "Your eyes so pretty" She smiled "I wonder if you're going to keep them, or if they are going to turn green like my eyes or like your mom's eyes." She paused "Like our mom's eyes. They could stay blue like your dad's." She paused again "Our dad" She corrected "Sorry baby kiddo, I am not good with this whole big sister stuff. Kind of a weird thought thinking you and I are full blooded siblings. Both came from the exact same two people. Both products of true love" She knelt down to be a more comfortable position her finger still grasped in his tiny hand his eyes locked on her as if he was trying to figure her out._

_"I am quite a few years older than you" She pointed out "And had we had a normal life me being raised with your parents." She sighed not knowing why she kept calling them his and not theirs. "Our parents" She corrected "You might have joined us when I was three or four and I can bet I would have been jealous of you" She smiled "Age appropriate jealousy. Maybe I would have acted out. I could see a young me trying to sell you for a piece of chocolate" He let out a grunt and she laughed "I am kidding baby kiddo. I would have also loved you and taken you under my wing and protected you. It would have been us and whatever other sibling came along. We would never have been alone" She shook her head "But we didn't get that. It wasn't meant to be" She sucked in her lip and bit down. "I was not born to be Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter. I may have entered into this world through them but I wasn't meant to be theirs" Her eyes filled with tears "I wasn't meant to be your big sister either. You see my purpose is to be a Savior or a key. Until I am needed for those things. I am kind of a no body." _

_Emma wiggled her finger free from his and used her hand to run it across his little forehead. "That's why I am leaving. You'll have your parents all to yourself and you'll be spoiled rotten and I am going to go be Emma Swan in New York. Not a Savior in Story Brooke. Not someone's key not Prince Charming and Snow White's disappointment. I am going to go find out who Emma Swan really is."_

_"I don't think I can handle being the Savior anymore" She shook her head "It hurts too much that I am just needed for saving. Your parents left me again a year ago for what they say was for mine and Henry's best chance" She smiled "And if you repeat this I will deny it up one side and down the other. They were right! It was my best chance. I had a great life in New York. I finally had a home. I was a normal person. Not some abandoned orphan. I was a mother and I had a good life." She retracted her hand "And I know this is going to sound wrong" She whispered "Because I've got thirty years on you baby kiddo and I love you! I do, but a part of me resented them for getting pregnant with you" She looked away now not being able to look at his eye tiny face. "I know that's not appropriate jealousy I am a grown woman." The baby let out a soft whimper and Emma found herself giving him her finger back. "You see they made a curse to come back to Story Brooke to come back here to find me, but not because they were missing me" Now her voice cracked and tears began to fall. She hated crying. It seemed like she'd cry more in Story Brooke then she had ever cried in her life. _

_"They came back to find me so I could save you" Emma swallowed back a sob "My parents the ones that were supposed to raise me and give me the life they are going to give you sent me away twice and I came back both times just to some saving. Not because they can't stand being away from me." She used her hands to wipe at her eyes "Don't get me wrong baby kiddo" She looked down at him "I'll always come to save you. I am thankful I was able to save you. I will always save you" She promised "I just hope you just don't need much saving and you grow up happy and healthy and you full fill that need in our parents that I couldn't and can't do. I can't do this much longer after your celebration I am heading back to New York so I am entrusting you to take care of your parents okay? Bring them joy. I know you will"_

_Emma glanced at the clock "Henry should be arriving back any minute to change, and they should have the car seat in now. So do me a favor and keep this conversation between us" She said quickly as she picked him up "Act normal" She commanded with a smile cradling him her arms going back to the counter so she could finish nursing her coffee while she held him contently in her arms._

_OUAT OUAT OUAT_

_Mary Margaret sat in the front seat holding the baby monitor in her hands. Her face even more pale then normal as she fought to keep from crying._

_David had long sense attached the car seat properly. The two had actually been getting ready to head back in when they heard Emma's voice through the baby monitor. Maybe they should have turned it off. They probably shouldn't have listened in to their daughter's private conversation with her brother, but it was insight to Emma. Something they were desperately trying to get. They were grasping at straws willing to do whatever it took to get inside Emma's thick walls. Ones that Mary Margaret had once managed to break through once, but honestly Emma started rebuilding her walls up higher and thicker when it came to Mary Margaret when Tamera showed up and this time it didn't matter what she did she couldn't find the walls weak spot to start breaking down again. It didn't stop her from trying though. She meant what she had told Emma back in Never Land it was her job to make Emma feel like she belonged that she was no longer an orphan. However she was finding this to be one of her biggest challenges she'd ever faced and after facing her evil step mother that's saying a lot. It also didn't help that she had to send Emma away again for her and Henry's betterment. She could see how in the eyes of her daughter that looked like abandonment again._

_"What do we do?" David asked breaking her from her thoughts "Part of me wants to run upstairs burst through the apartment door, make sure the baby is not in her arms before I grab her arms and shake her until she wakes up and realizes we want her just as much as we want him."_

_Mary Margaret laughed at the image and shook her head "I know the feeling, but trust me that would just increase the thickness of the walls forever kicking us out. No. We can't do that." She looked up at Charming "She's not leaving today. She's staying for the name reveal and celebration. Today we leave her be. We won't push her into talking or sharing her feelings. That'll just backfire" She smiled sadly "Then tonight, or early tomorrow morning I am going to take her aside and I am going to talk to her. I tried to be her friend again the past few weeks, I tried to be the Mary Margaret she remembered minus referring to you as her father a few times. I thought maybe she'd come talk to me about New York or her feelings about Hook or the pregnancy or even her flying monkey fiancé. She hasn't really said one word to me that was not Zelena related so it's time for me to put on my mom jeans and push more than I have been."_

_David nodded "Let me know how I can help."_

_"Just love her unconditionally as you have been and treat her no differently than before." She smiled as she got out of the car Henry racing by with a newspaper in his hands "Hi guys, I am going to go change"_

_"Whirl wind" Mary Margaret laughed as she headed to the stairs "Normal as possible David" She reminded him as they entered the apartment David greeting Emma with a smile "Thanks for keeping an eye on your brother. I really did need your mother's help. Car seats are tricky. Not something we had ever thought of when we were having you. So very different here."_

_Emma nodded as she handed her brother to her father as she watched her mother smile at her before going to their room taking a seat at the end of their bed to fold clothes. She watched as her father bounced the baby in his arms taking him over to his mother and telling some silly story about their world and no need for car seats and about some contraption that he had tried to build for Emma before she was born for the carriages. Which caused her mother to laugh at the memory while Emma leaned against the support beam in the apartment watching the little family interact in their home before her mind flashed to being a child always watching all the other kids go "Home" While she was left standing there. Even her baby brother was born into a home. One she wasn't really a part of. None the less she couldn't help but smile at watching the interaction in front of her. _

OUAT OUAT OUAT

After Emma time travels

"I am glad Henry went with Regina tonight" Emma said kicking off her boots as they entered the apartment late that night. She was exhausted emotionally and physically drained from her day of time traveling. Which had been days to her but really only a short amount of time to her family. The thought made her head hurt.

"I am glad he went too" David said as he settled Neal in his crib. "She needed him tonight."

Emma headed for the stairs "I don't know what to do for her. I didn't mean to cause her any harm. I was just trying to help someone who helped me who helped my mom."

"We'll worry about helping her tomorrow" Mary Margaret yawned "We'll figure it out" She promised

Emma nodded before she ran up the stairs leaving her parents. "I am going to change" She yawned "Before the prince needs to eat."

David watched her go and decided after his day after hearing Emma's stories he wanted to hold his son a little longer so he grabbed him out of the cradle and headed back to the living area settling on the couch with him to have a littler father son chat as Emma came back down the stairs changed in sweats rubbing her eyes. He could sense she was exhausted and drained but also not able to let herself wind down.

"Why don't you go check on your mother" He indicated knowing his wife would be able to help calm her nerves.

Emma blinked in surprise but shrugged as she headed over to the curtain offered area that housed her parents at night. She hesitated for a moment until she heard her mother's soft voice. "Come here baby"

"Uh you do know it's me and not David bringing you Neal" She smiled to herself that was still a little weird to say. She loved her parents for naming him Neal. She knew they really did that more for her and Henry than anyone else."

"I know my children" Mary Margaret smiled and patted the bed beside her "Your brother is happy and content for the moment. Come sit with me for a little bit. I'd really love some one on one time with my first born."

Emma blushed slightly but didn't hesitate to crawl quickly onto the bed and into her mother's open arms. The vision of her mother turning from a bug to her mother and trying to hug her so thankful to see her alive but having no idea who she was stuck with her. This was the first time all night her mother didn't have her brother in her arms and could properly hold her first born. It felt good to have her hold her tight and to kiss her temples a few times.

"Emma, I love you" She murmured into her ear "More then you'll ever know princess"

"I am the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming" Emma chuckled to herself as she finally pulled away from her mother and curled up on her side resting on David's pillows but facing her mother while Mary Margaret mirrored her daughter. Her finger tips brushing Emma's forehead which caused her daughter's eyes to close for a second before they popped back open.

"You are my daughter" She smiled "Like me in almost every way"

Emma smiled at the thought "I don't even have the words to express to you what it was like watching you in the past. I was so in awe. I kept thinking wow this person right here. She's my mother. My mother. The mother that I hoped and prayed about as a child. This was her and she's freaking awesome."

Mary Margaret laughed "Thank you? I don't think I've ever been referred to as freaking awesome before"

"Then in that moment" Emma's voice cracked "That I watched you burn and I thought you were gone. My heart broke in a way it never has. I never longed for you more. I wanted you! I wanted what I've had these past few years minus the year in New York. I wanted you to smile at me again. I wanted you to tell me to have hope again. I wanted you to hold my face in your hands as you've done before. I wanted you to kiss my forehead again. I even wanted to hear the way you say my name when you are exasperated with me." Tears were now falling and Emma wasn't surprised when her mother reached out and began to catch them with her thumbs wiping them away as quickly as they fell.

"I realized in that moment I wasn't an orphan anymore or that little lost girl. I was Emma daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and I was longing for a mother that I had. Not one that I had made up in my head. But one that had been there for a while. One that loved me even when I was an utter brat to her." She swallowed hard trying to gain composure but she was failing miserably.

"I just wanted my mom" A tiny sob escaped Emma's throat and she found herself being pulled into her mother's arms all over again. She was rocking her the best she could holding on as tightly as she could. "I am here now Emma." She wanted to promise her she wasn't going anywhere this time that she'd be there from here on out. However she couldn't make her daughter such a lofty promise with the lives they lived. A portal could open up tomorrow and swallow one of them up God forbid. "I promise you that every minute we get together I am going to cherish and no matter what happens in life. I am always going to love you, and you've always been and always will be my daughter my baby girl. Nothing can ever take away the fact that I am your mother."

Emma smiled at the thought as she realized she did carry big pieces of her parents with her and always had. No one could have ever rob her of those things.

"You and dad were so bad ass" She mumbled her eyes growing heavy again as they fell shut.

"Emma" Mary Margaret laughed "Don't let your brother hear you say that."

"He can't talk yet" She said with a smirk "I'll curb my language when he can talk. But I gotta teach him some annoying habits that's my job!"

"Oh it is?"

"Mmm hmm" She mumbled "In the big sister handbook" She let out a content sigh "I should go to bed" Her eyes fully closed one hand curled up under the pillow the other rubbing the bridge of her nose.

It wasn't all but five minutes later David walked in holding Neal in his arm finding Mary Margaret running her fingers over Emma's forehead in a soothing fashion while their eldest slept.

"She's out" She said softly "I didn't have the heart to make her leave"

David winked "Its fine, I'll sleep up in their bed or on the couch" He said scooting Neal's tiny basinet close to Mary Margaret. "Let her sleep. Tomorrow the world becomes full reality again. She's got to figure out her relationship with Hook. We've got to figure out Regina. She can worry about the adult stuff tomorrow. Tonight just let her sleep. She obviously feels safe or she wouldn't have fallen asleep." He smiled sadly "It's almost as it should have been her stealing my spot in our bed when she was a little girl who needed her mommy after a bad dream." He handed the infant to his mother "He'll probably eat and pass right back out. I'll listen for him too."

"Oh Charming" She smiled he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"We'll figure this out" He promised "How to be parents to a thirty year old, and how to be parents to a new born. Neither comes with manuals but we'll figure it out. Our kids will have what they need in us." He leaned over and brushed some blonde hair away from his daughter's face. "You and I… We make some gorgeous children"

Mary Margaret brought Neal up and kissed his little forehead before looking over at Emma "That we do"

"Is she going to wake with you feeding him?" He asked suddenly concerned that maybe he should move their daughter so she sleeps better.

"No" She shook her head "That's the one thing I learned from traveling to The Enchanted Forest and Never land is that once Emma gets this tired and falls asleep she'll sleep through anything. She's good."

"She called me Dad today" David grinned happily "For the second time. My day is complete sharing our son's name hearing our daughter call us mom and dad."

"Yeah" She smiled proudly "She got scared in her travel. What she saw what she realized she could have lost terrified her. I would have rather her not had to be terrified to see what she had and could lose but I am thankful that it got through to her. A huge chunk of her walls are down. It doesn't mean she won't try to build them back up or won't ever try to run again. They are just down enough we can get inside and work from the inside to get them down and prevent them from coming back up. We've been a big opportunity with her. One I've been waiting for, for what seems like the moment she came back into my life."

David kissed his family all one more time "I am thankful for it too" He smiled "I'll be on the couch if you need me. Sleep well."

"I love you Charming" She smiled "Thank you for always finding me, and giving me these two blessings."

"I could say the same to you on all three accounts" He said softly before he left the room allowing his family to rest comfortably while he just spent some quiet time giving thanks for his wife two children and grandson they were his home.


End file.
